feels like my soul has left me...i have no emotion nor happiness. i don't feel myself anymore. sometimes i wonder why i am put to this test. i hope i have paid off all my sins from the past and the current present for im not sure how long i can last.
i feel like giving up everything as i am so tired as all i wanted was everything to be fine around me. but nothing seems to get any better and i am constantly the target. i also hoped that i have served the purpose of my presence to others. if my presence is to make others happy but i suffer for that, so be it for i really don't know how much longer i can stay sane. so be it. if that can make things better, so be it. i have no other solution anymore and my condition is getting worse. I just weep silently inside where nobody knows but put up a strong character. sometimes i do wish to reach out but when i do, i become the target eventually. hence, everything stays inside.
i tried very hard, but nobody knows. maybe it's not enuf but i dont have any more strength. im tired and stressed out every single day. im sinking into a further depression where people sees it as im cutting a forlong face but deep inside me, i think im sinking further from my depression. im really about to explode. sometimes i do ask, what is my purpose here. what have i done so bad that i deserve this. sometimes i pray that if my presence is not wanted/needed, lord, please take me with u. as much as my tears are rolling down as i write this, but im really can't feel myself anymore.
lord, i have tried. but i dont know if i did it right the way u wanted it to be. somehow, i always felt it was a one way traffic. when i reach out, im never heard. lord, u created me and u know that i don't publicly pen down my sorrows in a public reached media, but this is my last resort to be heard for open discussions are never working no matter how i tried. For in the end, the fault is always to be mine. hence, the dead silence that was kept all these while. i was never heard. for i cant be heard. im going crazy by the days and that is really sapping into my life and my health. i don't have anyone who will support me when i'm in trouble. Everyone just wants a piece of me for themselves and doesn't bother about how i truly feel or going through. People say voicing out is a good way for communication. sometimes i feel that is just utter bullshit as it only works if the other parties would love to listen and care about your problems. if they are just thinking for themselves, to them it's just excuses. somehow, lord, i failed in that. i failed getting support that i need. and im very tired and saddened especially with my depression state.
lord, if u have any mercy on me, please...take me with u. forgive me for all my sins i may have caused. then, now and in future. if taking my life can give others happiness, then i surrender everything to u lord. u decide for me.
i feel like giving up everything as i am so tired as all i wanted was everything to be fine around me. but nothing seems to get any better and i am constantly the target. i also hoped that i have served the purpose of my presence to others. if my presence is to make others happy but i suffer for that, so be it for i really don't know how much longer i can stay sane. so be it. if that can make things better, so be it. i have no other solution anymore and my condition is getting worse. I just weep silently inside where nobody knows but put up a strong character. sometimes i do wish to reach out but when i do, i become the target eventually. hence, everything stays inside.
i tried very hard, but nobody knows. maybe it's not enuf but i dont have any more strength. im tired and stressed out every single day. im sinking into a further depression where people sees it as im cutting a forlong face but deep inside me, i think im sinking further from my depression. im really about to explode. sometimes i do ask, what is my purpose here. what have i done so bad that i deserve this. sometimes i pray that if my presence is not wanted/needed, lord, please take me with u. as much as my tears are rolling down as i write this, but im really can't feel myself anymore.
lord, i have tried. but i dont know if i did it right the way u wanted it to be. somehow, i always felt it was a one way traffic. when i reach out, im never heard. lord, u created me and u know that i don't publicly pen down my sorrows in a public reached media, but this is my last resort to be heard for open discussions are never working no matter how i tried. For in the end, the fault is always to be mine. hence, the dead silence that was kept all these while. i was never heard. for i cant be heard. im going crazy by the days and that is really sapping into my life and my health. i don't have anyone who will support me when i'm in trouble. Everyone just wants a piece of me for themselves and doesn't bother about how i truly feel or going through. People say voicing out is a good way for communication. sometimes i feel that is just utter bullshit as it only works if the other parties would love to listen and care about your problems. if they are just thinking for themselves, to them it's just excuses. somehow, lord, i failed in that. i failed getting support that i need. and im very tired and saddened especially with my depression state.
lord, if u have any mercy on me, please...take me with u. forgive me for all my sins i may have caused. then, now and in future. if taking my life can give others happiness, then i surrender everything to u lord. u decide for me.
